Monday, August 11, 2008

Freshman Congressman Cites Study You Wouldn't Know from Niagara Falls Area

Washington, D.C.—Freshman Representative Adrian Smith bolstered his amendment to an omnibus farm bill today by citing a nitrogen yield study conducted by this awesome group he met last summer on vacation in Canada with his family.

"This was a totally hot study," the suburban Nebraska Republican told the House floor during debate. "Way better than any of the studies done around here, which are lame." While claiming he made "pretty sweet" headway with the study’s overseeing organization, whom he described as "totally into me," Representative Smith was short on specifics. "You wouldn’t know it," he was quoted as saying after debate. "It doesn't know anyone from here either."

Fellow House members were skeptical. "Adrian’s always saying he’s in with some numbers from upstate, or back home in Gering [Nebraska]," said fellow Republican freshman Jim Jordan, of Ohio’s 4th District. "Remember that time he said he was up till dawn ‘really getting to know’ this report on crop rotation strategies from somewhere in Ontario?"

Asked for more details on the Niagara Falls study, Smith demurred, saying "I don’t want to be the kind of congressman who blabs behind a nice study's back." The relationship now, he said, is still going but “real casual," and he hopes to make it back to Niagara Falls for further study when he can.

Stay tuned to Newsmaker News for more on this breaking story.

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