Thursday, October 30, 2008

Youth Culture in an Obama White House

Washington, DC—If national and battleground polls are to be believed, Senator Barack Obama will be the next president of the United States, due in no small measure to the enthusiasm and support of young people. Youth culture, shown at left, has been omnipresent in the Obama campaign and is sure to continue during an Obama presidency. Newsmaker News gathered some political experts to examine how this youth focus will affect an Obama White House. The following are some of the changes expected:

  • White House tour guides to wear American Apparel tees and nothing else
  • NEA graffiti grants
  • Every bill sent to Congress updated with “2.0”
  • Anthem changed to Starz N Stripez
  • Oval Office "Red Phone" replaced with Skype
  • Cabinet meetings held in Second Life
  • Everything to be "Gone Wild"
  • Fireside Facebook chats
  • America to save cash by moving back in with Britain
  • Staff to travel Europe before beginning term
  • Air Force One booked via Orbitz
  • Recycling of cans, paper, and Clinton initiatives
  • White House to open TCF Bank checking account
  • Challenging Kremlin to Ultimate Frisbee game
  • Dave Mathews named Secretary of Chillaxin’
  • Washington Mall opened for skateboarding
  • Self protested
  • Waterboarding replaced with legal but even more tortuous "reading"
  • Stays in Lincoln Room auctioned on Craigslist
  • State of the Union speech moved to May, held on quad
  • Internet something or other
  • President’s Ball enlivened with glow sticks, ecstasy
  • Punctuation banned
  • Social Security benefit age lowered to 35
  • Sex. Lots and lots of sex.

Stay tuned to Newsmaker News for more breaking election coverage.

Copyright © 2008 Newsmaker News.

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