St. Paul, MINNESOTA—With global warming increasingly threatening and energy prices on the rise, Republicans today unveiled a new energy plan that they believe will guide American into the future. Here’s a breakdown of the plan's components:
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Copyright © 2008 Newsmaker News.
St. Paul, MINNESOTA—In what many here are calling the "night of the living word," local Minnesotans are reeling from monotonous, persistent, and droning attacks from RNC undelegates. The advice from local law enforcement officials, however, was clear and consistent: remain calm, reason with the undelegate, and completely sever their heads from their bodies. “It’s the only way to stop them,” said a shaken police chief, John Harrington. “For the love of God, cut cleanly and completely.”
Even if you are asked for brains, or directions to Mickey’s Diner or even Casetta’s, “don’t do it, it’s a trick!” said Harrington, whilst barricaded behind his desk as a throng of undelegates swamped his office demanding in their relentless way to know where the Mary Tyler Moore statue was, how awesome and down-t0-earth Sarah Palin is, and also where Tim Pawlenty is buried.
“Brains!” one undelegate said, on condition of anonymity for fear of offending his fellow undelegates. “Mall of America! Eat moose abortion!”
Stay tuned to Newsmaker News for...oh my god, they're here, breaking in the windows, with their dead eyes and unborn specters! Run! Run St. Paul, run!
Copyright 2008 Newsmaker News.
St. Paul, MINNESOTA—In the midst of a difficult election season and apprehension over John McCain’s vice-presidential pick, delegates here at the Republican National Convention took time to reassure Gulf Coast hurricane victims that the GOP is doing everything it can for them over the next couple of days.
“We stand with the people of Louisiana, Texas, and Mississippi in their darkest hour,” party chair Ken Mehlman said in a statement, “or until Friday morning, whichever comes first.”
Promising care packages, fundraisers, even the waiving of convention fees so delegates can donate them to hurricane relief, the GOP stood united in their commitment to help the suffering Gustav victims through Thursday night’s acceptance speech by presumptive nominee John McCain.
Steve Pastor, a delegate from Akron, Ohio, echoed his party’s general sentiment when he said, “If you are a victim of Gustav, through the end of this week we will never forget you or let you down.” Pastor added that “we are the party of caring and quick, sure-handed action while gathered here in St. Paul.”
With buttons distributed saying “We Care Sept 1 – 4,” and with a general aura of decorum and sensitivity throughout the convention, Republicans seemed intent on unifying around a central message of response and caring within two days’ time.
Delegate Karen Kellster of Salina, Texas, was adamant that “No way are we [Republicans] going to be seen partying and whooping it up while Gulf Coast Americans are suffering.” She reiterated that until Friday, this suffering has no place in the GOP. “We really have to show our softer, more responsive caring side within the 3-day limit.”
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Copyright © 2008 Newsmaker News.
