Washington, DC—Saying “really, it’s okay, we’re flush this month” and “you got it last time,” presidential contender Barack Obama announced today that his campaign would pick up the tab for the government’s massive $700 billion economic bailout. When the bailout bill arrived this morning, Obama was in Washington and, according to witnesses present at the table, Obama grabbed it and put his credit card down, saying “I got it.”
“We just appreciate being here with you, and all the hard work you've done,” Obama said later at a press conference here to publicly announce the generous move. “It’d really make me happy to treat you this time.”
Critics argue that Obama’s always picking up the tab, trying to look all magnanimous and cool. He even pays for his wife’s own clothes on the campaign, these critics point out. “It’s an act, don’t be fooled,” said RNC chair Mike Duncan.
Obama's rival John McCain agreed. “He’s measuring the drapes!” the Arizona Republican senator cried after hearing the news on the campaign trail.
Obama campaign spokesman Ben LaBolt said such criticism was all “nonsense.” Citing the impromptu, unplanned nature of the move, LaBolt said, “Here’s a guy who offers to pay for the largest bailout in history, and he gets criticized at for it? That’s rich. Richer than Obama by far.”
At the press conference, Obama was equally contrite about the move. Chided by a reporter, who asked “you can’t just pick up such a large tab on your credit card, can you?” Senator Obama replied, “Yes we can.”
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